10 Times Porn Rocked ’90s Nostalgia
Adult Empire was born in the 1990s, so we have a particular affection and nostalgia for the decade. Bill Clinton was up to his usual shenanigans in the White House, the dot-coms were boomin’ (including our very own DVDEmpire.com), boy bands were croonin’, and computer modems still made a weird static noise every time you wanted to get online. Let’s pay tribute to 10 times that porn totally rocked the 1990s nostalgia! Movies with the checkmark are available free as part of Adult Empire Unlimited membership! (And don’t miss Adult Empire’s ’90s porn category.)
Seinfeld: A XXX Parody
The show that was famous for being “about nothing” was actually frequently very much about sex. The writers cleverly disguised this fact, though, by using coded, comical language. Masturbation became “master of your domain,” and sex itself became “yada yada yada” in another famous episode. The subtext is brought gloriously into the open in this spoof! (And yes, that’s James Deen starring as Jerry!)
Ten Inch Mutant Ninja Turtles & Other Porn Parodies
If you run into any male born in the 1980s and sing out “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles,” they are likely to sing back “heroes in a half shell! Turtle Power!” WoodRocket has a particular knack for two things: leveraging nostalgia . . . and louche puns. These two inclinations merged gloriously in Ten Inch Mutant Ninja Turtles. (Read our full blog about this flick here.)
“Sam Kinison” in Alyssa Hart: My Life As A Pregnant Whore
Okay, this one is more of a deep cut. Sam Kinison was a much-beloved 1980s and early 1990s comedian who became famous for his theatrical rants, complete with rasping screams that were his trademark. (Tragically, Kinison died in a car crash in 1992.) For reasons we cannot even begin to contemplate, this completely, wonderfully insane movie opens with an appearance by a Sam Kinison tribute artist, who angrily derides a pregnant woman for her loose morals. (This movie is so bizarre, it really merits its own post. Stay tuned!)
Titanic Tits
Titanic was the top box office draw for 15 straight weeks (in contrast, no movie since then has even cracked 10 consecutive weeks atop the box office). While this porn flick plays upon the movie only in its title and box cover, they do seem to have nailed the dreamy Titanic poster iconography. Perhaps unsurprisingly, there are at least two porn movies with this same title. Actually, maybe three! Near, far, wherever you are . . . .
Tit Fucking Phone Sex
This one is a bit more of a stretch, but stay with us for a moment. Telephonics has changed considerably since the ’90s . . . long gone are the days of “Who’s calling, please?” and “May I take a message?” and “I’ll get it!” Though this scene was shot relatively recently, it still plays on a classic pre-smartphone experience: chatting away on an old-school handset with a boring person, while someone in the room distracts your attention. (When Naughty Allie says “Can you hold on a minute?” it’s so she can watch her partner climax on her chest.)
This Ain’t 007 Gold Ass
James Bond disappeared from cinemas in 1989 all the way through to 1994, making many filmgoers assume the secret agent was gone for good. In 1995, the stars finally aligned, and secret agent 007 (this time played by Pierce Brosnan, which itself sounds like half a pornstar name) was back in action in GoldenEye. This Euro porn plays specifically on that era of James Bond classics, right down to the title and logo style.
This Ain’t Baywatch XXX
Quaint as it may seem in this age of easily accessible adult entertainment, there once was a time when it took some effort to find erotic imagery. Baywatch attracted millions of viewers worldwide largely thanks to its cast of attractive, skimpily attired lifeguards. The swimwear comes off in a big way in the porn version!
Mortal Cumbat
Few video games courted as much controversy as Mortal Kombat, due to its graphic violence. This porn movie nicely plays on some old-school arcade nostalgia before engaging in something that would also send the 1990s culture police into a tizzy: graphic sex. Finish him, indeed!
The Simpsons XXX Parody: Marge & Homer’s Sex Tape!
The Simpsons are still chugging along to this day, but in the early ’90s, they were a true pop culture phenomenon. Animation featuring yellow-hued people with gravity-defying hair doesn’t seem like it would lend itself to porn adaptions, but don’t tell that to the people at Hustler. They defied the odds (and gravity with Marge’s hair) in this 2010 spoof. The movie also references another ’90s cultural touchstone: the infamous Pamela Anderson/Tommy Lee sex tape.
This Ain’t Beverly Hills 90210 XXX
In the ’90s, there were two zip codes you could recite by memory: your own, and that of Beverly Hills, thanks to the melodramatic primetime soap opera about some of the area’s star-crossed residents. Broadcast content standards meant we never did see what really happened behind the bedroom door (“viewer discretion is advised,” as they said in those days), but thanks to the porn version, you can finally take a peek.
Bonus movie (we couldn’t stop at 10!):
Power Bangers
What Ninja Turtles was to the late ’80s and early ’90s, Power Rangers was to the mid 1990s. Brazzers has always had a keen eye for spoofery, and they nailed it with this mighty-morphin’ madness, right down to the brightly colored costumes.
Browse the ’90s porn category here >>
