The Reviews of ‘Natural Harvest: A Collection of Semen-Based Recipes’ Are Amusing

We just ate lunch here at Adult Empire. After reading about Natural Harvest: A Collection of Semen-Based Recipes, we kind of wish we hadn’t. Gag!

The book, which has been floating around in paperback and digital form since its first publication in 2008, is hard to take seriously. A collection of semen recipes, presented with all the graphic-design verve of a high-end culinary classic by Jacques Pepin or Julia Child? It seems expressly designed to catch your attention and “go viral,” and the fact that you’re now reading a blog post about it proves that it’s been effective to that end. Nevertheless, the book’s author operates a reasonably straight-faced website themed around the same subject, and even LA Weekly’s original review of the book seemed unsure whether it was parody or not. (The website features a modal lightbox that pops up and asks you if you’d like to sign up to get “semen cuisine news” delivered straight to your inbox. Oh, we’ll pass.)

Real or fake, the book has generated plenty of opportunities for amusing comments from customer book reviewers on Amazon and Goodreads. How many jizz puns could there be? Plenty! (Or should we say “loads”?)

“Got this as a ‘gag’ gift for my chef friend.” (Katie K)
“Guess who’s cumming for Dinner?” (William)
“Can’t put this book down (way too sticky).” (Anonymous customer)
“We invited 6 people to dinner…..I was too tired to attend after slaving all day gathering the necessary ingredients.” (USAFA)
“We do a white elephant gift exchange and was hoping my uncle would receive this (he has a sick sense of humor). Instead my beloved grandmother got this and was so embarrassed to read the title!” (Wynona H.)
“My wife gave me a ‘hard time’ about buying it but she swallowed her pride……and dinner….sigh…” (Tex)
“I cannot stress how enthusiastic I am about these recipes! The light touch and gentle stroke of the wooden spoon as one caresses ingredients together results in an explosion of taste!” (Buzz Nelson)
“First off I need to admit to buying this book for a very wrong reason…I love leaving this book out on my table for the folks that come to our house! (no pun intended..) I am planning to sneak it into my mother-in-laws house, who brags that she knows all the books in her library. I now plan on seeing if anybody will ever invite me to cook for them again. It is an ‘interesting’ read to say the least, it would not be for the faint of heart foodie!” (Aaron Robinson)
“This whole being green/sustainable thing has gone too far, people. TOO FAR!” (Books Ring Mah Bell)

In case you are wondering what kind of recipes a bizarre volume like this might contain, the book’s author, Paul “Fotie” Photenhauer, pushes YouTube’s content regulations to the limit with such examples as “Chocolate Peanut Butter Semen Dessert.” (Watch here, if you dare! You can thank us later for not embedding that in this post.)

Featured image: Riley Steele and Kayden Kross in Cooking With Kayden