Hooray for Sex

Respect. Sex and intimacy are based on respect, and I think that means it should be a pillar of our industry.

At its core, porn is very personal. We see porn stars in the most intimate situations, their fun parts on full display, making us feel aroused and happy and good. They’re people, and they’re working to entertain us: they should have our respect. Recently, a college student who does porn was outed on campus and was facing harassment, both in people following her around and also with the most misogynistic name-calling. Her screed in response was amazing and epic and empowering. She has my respect.

I’m thankful these performers work to entertain us. I’ve long wanted to work in the industry, but I have a couple of careers going, and I’m ashamed to say they would be at strong risk by taking my clothes off and having fun on camera. The student I mentioned above should also be getting the respect I fear I wouldn’t be afforded. And the knowledge that she is still entitled to a private life and controls her own sexuality.

On the surface, porn is simply box after box of pretty, smiling faces. As someone who likes women (a hell of a lot), porn shopping is very easy for me. The majority of marketing is centered around who the ladies are and what they do in their scenes. It works, too.

I got into writing porn reviews about fourteen years ago. Why? Because it’s fun. Because I write for a living. Because I really like porn. I live in the Midwest. I’ve never been to Porn Valley or Vegas. I’ve never met anyone in the industry in person. And, obviously, I write under a pseudonym. So I don’t really put myself out there or take any risks. I’m very pro-sex. Sex is fun. I’m in a polyamorous relationship, so even though I’ve been in a long-term relationship for nearly two decades, I can still pursue that variety of experience I like. Sex is a good thing.

But I don’t feel that we, as a society, have the healthiest relationship with it. That’s where I think porn sometimes reflects what we need to work on.

I strongly believe sex and porn should be as mainstream as possible. That’s a double-edged sword for us. Being more mainstream means appealing to a wider audience, and it also means that, as an industry, we need to drop some of our anti-social behavior. This is some explanation for my reviews, where I complain about lazy stereotypes (particularly racial), flagrant misogyny, and this rampant feeling that there’s a badass element to porn. Oh, and shitty camerawork: reverse cowgirl should not be shot with the camera on the floor. The entire point of that position is to show off
bodies. Not everything needs to be penetration-centric. Grr.

So, in a nutshell, that’s why I’m here on this blog. I plan to write about social and legal issues around porn, as well as whatever errata floats through my head.

Do I have an attitude problem about this stuff? You bet. And I’m not going to stop. I want us, as an industry, to be mainstream. I want sex to be mainstream. It’s healthy and natural and wonderful. The people in front of the camera deserve that. So long as the person running the camera knows what they’re doing…