October 2, 2024October 3, 2024 by dallas

This Sex Doll Will Cost You a Cool $2,000

You have two mint condition thousand-dollar bills in your pocket. What should you spend them on?

The bills themselves offer subliminal hints. They bear the serious countenance of Grover Cleveland, who rocks the 19^th century equivalent of a porn-stache. Large bills have been out of circulation since (19)69, a number that evokes the zestiest of all sex positions. Even the rustle of the two bills against each other calls to mind tips thrust in the direction of a favorite exotic dancer. It’s all an insistent, lovely whisper of “sex, sex, sex.” That’s right, friends: that 2K is telling you it wants to be spent on sweet, hot adult entertainment.

Two thousand bucks could land you several hundred full-length porn videos, for one thing. Or quite a series of cam shows on Adult Empire Live. Or monthly memberships at all the best pay sites.

But let’s think big here.

What’s the single most expensive item on Adult Empire?

Meet Leilah.

For just a touch beyond two grand, you can take this lovely lady home. She’s a sex doll just waiting to relieve you of your Grover Cleveland greenbacks. Frankly, she looks equipped to relieve a lot of other things, too.

I’m not sure if the name is pronounced LAY-la or LEE-la, but I’m hoping it’s the former. You’ll be screaming her name with all the lovelorn passion of Eric Clapton himself in the ‘70s rock hit.

In the promo pics, her head is thrown back and her eyes are shut, as if she’s savoring a particularly thrilling climax. (The website FAQ notes that Leilah’s eyes are fixed in the closed position, so need to worry about her lids fluttering open at midnight.) Leilah’s proportions are not realistic, but that’s clearly the point. She’s a fantasy come to life, and her manufacturers have clearly doubled down on the concept. Her boobs are as big as her head. Her “super bubbly butt” is just that, jutting out like twin moons in some far-flung solar system. At a near-lifelike 87 pounds, she is quite literally a glory to behold.

This heft comes with a few mild downsides. Adult Empire offers free shipping on most orders over $25, but at that weight, Leilah sneers at such perks. No free shipping for you. But when you’re spending as liberally as this, shipping costs are a secondary concern.

Leilah is manufactured by Sexy Real Sex Dolls, a US-based company that uses its official literature to chip away at the stigma of sex dolls. “Many customers feel ashamed when contacting us or requesting information about sex dolls,” the company says. “Men are developing special relationships with realistic sex dolls, and the reality is that sex dolls can bring many benefits to single men or women and even couples [ . . . ] Having a sex doll is totally normal and developing a special relationship with her too.”

Unsurprisingly, sales of dolls like Leilah spiked during the pandemic, when stay-at-home orders mandated new levels of creativity regarding companionship and sexual satisfaction.

The company maintains an official blog with some surprisingly detailed articles on maintenance and care for your dolls. The one on dressing your sex doll advises you that “CLOTHES CAN DAMAGE AND STAIN YOUR DOLL.” After spending several paychecks on one of these ladies, that’s definitely the last thing you want.

Some of the extra options, listed on SRSD’s website, are attention-getting in their own right. “Buy Extra Head for Only +$300”? “Hanging Hook”? Unsettling as they sound, these add-ons make sense. If you spend 2K on a sex doll, the ability to change her look for a fraction of the cost is appealing. The hanging hook is essentially just a position tool, which is a practical consideration when your partner is a love doll.

There’s one thing we’re quite sure of, though.

Leilah, all two grand of her, will never leave you hanging.