‘Nurses’: Adult Empire Porn Movie of the Year 2009
Welcome to Digital Playground‘s hospital, where everyone is a hypochondriac and pervert.
In 2009, healthcare was at the forefront of the American consciousness. Debates raged over legislation that would implement a national health plan for the very first time. How much would it cost? Could you keep your doctor in the new plan? Would quality of care suffer? With these concerns dominating the public discourse, perhaps it’s not surprising that the go-to porn choice of the year was Digital Playground’s Nurses. Imagine, if you will, the cast of Nurses being in charge of our political debates. The world would be much more interesting, healthier, and decidedly more sexually satisfied.
By this point, Digital Playground was building on a series of massive, genre-defining hits, ranging from Island Fever to Pirates to Babysitters. In an era when porn movies could be made at surprisingly large budgets, you can see (and hear) every penny of the production value right there on the screen. It also had one of the most remarkable rosters of contract stars in porn history, all of whom make appearances in Nurses.
It opens in stirring, almost inspirational fashion with a TV-style intro featuring “salute to service” music as we are introduced to the movie’s cast. This opening tells us that Nurses will not be so much ER as General Hospital, a medical drama with its focus on entertaining, often overwrought character interactions rather than scalpels and surgery.
The cartoonish humor of the piece is obvious as soon as we see Evan Stone on his back being wheeled through the hospital, mumbling about the indignity of it all. He fetish for jamming items into his butt has landed him in the ER. Imperious head nurse Katsuni, interrupted from onboarding a team of possible additions to her staff, yanks it out. It won’t be the last anal adventure for Stone on an already-frenetic day at the hospital. Throughout, the sexual misadventures are played for comedic effect, complete with zany sound effects to accent punchlines.
Elsewhere in the hospital, patient Erik Everhard seems to have little wrong with him other than rampant leering and priapism. He ogles a nurse while she bends over to pick up some magazines, pretends to be blind to gain the sympathy of another, to name just a few of his pervy misadventures. It’s at once a send-up and glorious embodiment of all the wildest tropes of the “nurse porn” genre. It’s in these moments that Robby D., Digital Playground, and the cast shine, laughing with the absurdities of the genre rather than at them.
When patient James Deen needs a spongebath, he hopes hottie nurse Stoya will be the one to give it. His shock is palpable when an older, crabbier nurse is momentarily assigned the task. (“I’m going to need a bigger sponge,” she gasps when she sees the full measure of Deen’s equipment.) It’s all just a gag, though, and Stoya returns to finish the job. Deen and Stoya were an offscreen item at the time, and while their careers and relationship went in different directions, their chemistry here is obvious.
As the movie progresses, it’s obvious that every room in Digital Playground’s hospital contains latent sexual debauchery just waiting to happen. When two beauties visit a sick pal, they cheer him up by surprising him with a threesome. Riley Steele worries that she’s fumbled her chance for a career in medicine, so Jesse Jane and Manuel Ferrara help her regain her (sexual) confidence. (It’s a running gag that Jane is essentially playing herself, a celebrity that people recognize from somewhere they can’t quite put their finger on.) Sasha Grey helps two charitable gents give a sperm sample by showing off her tits and ass.
Appropriately, the movie ends in the bed of Erik Everhard, patient zero in this melee of sexual madness that is DP’s hospital. In publicity materials released at the time of Nurses‘ 2009 release, late director Robby D. enthused, “The sex in Nurses is insane!” There’s no better example of this than the finale, which has the frenzied energy of a pack of wolves descending on a side of meat.
Sadly, America’s healthcare situation may never have a perfect solution, but in Nurses, Digital Playground has built a consensus around a porn movie that is as perfect an example of its genre as any adult flick ever made.
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