Jackie Daytona's Sexual Mysteries

Sexual Mysteries: Is Remote Work Destroying Your Sex Life?

The New York Post reported a survey that showed 35% of white-collar workers think returning to the office will improve their ability to have sex. But why? What about remote work is causing so many penises to soften? First let’s look at the stats.

49% believe returning to the office won’t make a difference, so we’re dealing with a minority of people who think they’re having less sex since going remote. Most of that minority work at places like Capital One, Cisco, NVidia, and Salesforce. Well, there’s the problem right there. I think I know why you’re not having sex, and it ain’t because of remote work! Personally, I’ve been having more sex than ever since going remote. One Googler reported changing work won’t affect them because they’re “getting laid” as it stands. Amen, brother.

It seems that many reminiscing of hot wild hookups in a time when they still commuted to work may be embellishing and fetishizing because now that others are no longer contractually obligated to socialize and spend time with them, they’ve realized that, perhaps, nobody ever really liked them in the first place. I mean, think about it, 35% of people? That seems like an appropriate percentage of people that are unlikeable. Let’s put it another way; if people want to bang you, they will find a way.

As another participant wrote “Hinge and Tinder still exist,” there’s nothing preventing these folks from trying to hook up or meet single people. We have the tools at our disposal! Even my dad is on tinder now, he’s not a likable man and he’s got a new date every week!

So, is it really remote work that’s drying up the sex lives of these people? Of course not, that barely makes any sense. The true mystery is where this thought even came from, and it’s likely propaganda to try to get workers back in the office. Freedom breeds resentment, especially from the powers that be.

In conclusion, stay out of the office as much as you can and have sex as much as you can. Remember, just because other people aren’t having sex doesn’t mean you aren’t!

Original New York Post article

You may also like

Create an account & get 15 Free Minutes of Pay Per View time to watch any of our On Demand streaming videos.

Your Account also entitles you to exclusive Discounts & Sales, Coupons & Promotions plus free previews, trailers, product reviews & more.

Create Account