Sex Mysteries: Big Dick in Peru Vandalized

Northern Peru recently built a statue of a man with a massive penis, only for it to be vandalized almost immediately. Now it stands tall and erect, but with a big hole right in the dick. The statue can be found just outside the Trujillo, and was enjoying immense popularity from tourists and locals alike who were taking selfies with their favorite erect rod. That is, until some vandals smashed a hole in the tip of that big dick. It’s like that feeling when you cum but she keeps going and all the pressure hits your tip like a needle. It’s a tragedy, as anyone with a dick knows there should typically only be one hole.

A still of the shattered giant penis. Photo: AP

Are big dicks in danger?

One question on my mind, and surely all well-hung Peruvians, is, “am I danger?” What I mean to say is, are those of us blessed with large, powerful cocks in somebody’s crosshairs? Who is out roaming in Peru and vandalizing only large phallic organs?

According to the Mayor, Arturo Fernández Bazán of Moche, the cock-angry criminals struck in the dead of night at 2A.M.

“Three hooded criminals held a knife to the security guard’s neck to keep him from reacting or calling his colleagues on the radio, and two of them damaged the phallus.”

It only stands to reason that a dick that large needs its own security force, but one simply wasn’t enough. It was also two vandals working the dick at once, which technically makes it a threesome. I can only hope the authorities find these sex criminals and bring them to justice.

Still, one act of crime from dick-jealous deviants isn’t enough to stop a culture with a rich history of proud eroticism and big, hard, dick statues. Mayor Fernández Bazán said there are plans to erect many more statues, up to 30, in celebration of the Mochica culture. Many of them will include erotic sex imagery.

Sex lessons from Peru

I want to applaud Peru for getting so freaky. There’s a lot we can learn from them. In fact, the statue is based off of Peru’s pre-Columbian Mochica culture that existed from around 150-700 A.D. Their artifacts detailed their culture from fishing, to hunting, to the main course: sexual encounters. Who knew ancient cultures had such giant dongs to work with? There are many theories from historians about what caused the collapse of their culture, but I think they’re missing one. If they’re smashing pussies with dicks that big, eventually all the women would be too sore to fuck. You need a proper dick to vagina ratio, and those dicks are way too big.

Source: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2022/jan/07/peru-statue-penis-phallic-symbol-tourists