Take Five: ‘Star Wars XXX: A Porn Parody’
The most famous sci-fi movie of all time was released in 1977, but it took more than 30 years for it to receive a proper porn spoof. In honor of the “May the 4th” Star Wars celebrations, Adult Empire’s “Take Five” series offers five new capsule reviews of Star Wars XXX: A Porn Parody. Is this 2011 flick truly fit to rule the galaxy, or is it just another scruffy-looking nerf herder? (Read more about the individual blog reviewers here.)
Chase
Hmmm! I should start with an apology for not being a Star Wars follower so I may not get all the similarities to the storyline. I’ve at least seen Star Wars once a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. I definitely enjoyed these sexy storm troopers, very sexy –- I wouldn’t be able to fight them. The production values, the costumes, and backgrounds were great! Allie Haze was very hot as Princess Leia and Spoiler Alert: Darth Vader has a BBC. Jennifer White got my attention and stole the show -– her sex scene in the desert made me want to be Obi-Wan Kenobi! Great group sex; even Chewbacca gets lucky. I didn’t think that I would enjoy a parody but I liked it; ironically maybe the porn version of this movie will make me pay more attention to the original. So May the 4th be with you!
Dallas
“I’ve got a bad feeling about this.” It’s easy to find yourself quoting one of the most famous Star Wars lines when thinking about its porn parody. After all, how could modest porn resources create anything to rival the revolutionary visual effects of the 1977 fave and its various sequels? Thankfully, director Axel Braun is equipped with an impressive budget, helping make this a real eye-opener in terms of production value. The casting is also terrific. Vintage star Tom Byron as Obi-Wan? There’s no porn performer who could have done it better! Against all odds, Allie Haze somehow looks sexy even with the nutty cinnamon-roll hairstyle. Star Wars XXX is the rarest of porn spoofs: a movie that can play alongside its inspiration as a splendid companion piece, not just a low-rent, schlocky take-off. It’s a fun watch even for a casual Star Wars fan like me.
Jackie Daytona
Yes, it’s that time of year when we all bust out our toy lightsabers and make *bzzz* *bzzz* noises at each other. We argue, 20 years later, about the redeeming qualities of the prequels and how they contained significantly more world-building depth. And, now that we’re all adults, we get giddy with glee and watch slave-Leia get double stuffed by the most fearless rebels in a galaxy far, far away. The porn parody delivers on multiple levels: fulfilling our erotic fantasies of seeing our childhood heroes banged silly; our dark desires realized (Leia chowing down on Vader’s dong? Come on!); and last but not least, it’s a far more competent narrative than The Last Jedi. Axel Braun rarely disappoints and this is no different. The costumes are hot, the girls are hotter, and the scenes are passionate and cock-throbbing! If you like Star Wars, this one checks all the boxes.
Madison
Let me start off by saying I am not a Star Wars fan nor could I tell you much of anything about Star Wars, but a high budget porn parody of one of the best known film franchises has to be interesting. Plus any movie that Axel Braun directs is usually a hit! This parody is filled with hot stars, interesting special effects and of course hardcore sex. Watch as Allie Haze, who perfectly portrays Princess Leia, gives Darth Vader (Lexington Steele) a BJ that has him breathing heavier than normal. Another must see scene features Chewy getting frisky with Brandy Aniston and Eve Lawrence. So is the parody worth watching? Yes! The costumes, characters, and silly special effects will send you to your own pleasure galaxy far, far away . . .
Susan
The ‘70s brought us some of the greatest music, movies, and so much more, but it also brought us the first installment of the classic intergalactic series Star Wars. When this blockbuster film hit the scene in 1977, it took the world by storm and has since become part of a nine-movie series, multiple TV series, and so much more, but like most popular pop culture hits, it has been made into a phenomenal porn parody. While this title consists of five mind-blowing scenes, the first one in my opinion is quite questionable as Leia is persuaded into giving Darth Vader a blowjob while in the original film series we learn that he is her father. In my opinion, my favorite part of this title is the sassy C3P0, who while lost in the desert calls R2D2 a “rusty little twink.” Follow your favorite characters as they band together to bring down the Empire and save the galaxy and get ready to blow your mind and your load.
