A Complete Guide to AE’s Top Valentine’s Day Porn Movies
At Adult Empire, hearts aren’t the only thing getting bigger this Valentine’s Day! As the year’s biggest romantic holiday approaches, we celebrate by looking back at 10 of the top Valentine’s Day porn movies available on Adult Empire. Check out our video rundown and movie-by-movie text capsule reviews.
Valentine’s Stories
It’s the music that sets the tone for Valentine’s Stories! Each segment opens with soulful, wistful, romantic piano and guitar that sends the immediate signal that we’re in for tender romance. While movies of this sort tend to focus on traditional male/female pairings, Private nicely changes things up with a romance between Alexis Crystal and Keira in scene four. There’s no overarching plot to bind the scenes together — instead, Private uses the theme of romantic bliss to provide overall cohesion. It’s the perfect way to daydream about romance if you’re single, or to set the mood with your partner if you’re not.
St. Valentine’s College Sluts
When you think lovey-dovey hearts, cupid, and romance, college is not necessarily what comes to mind. Hookups, sex, and crazy party times? Yup, that’s more like college. Private mixes the college and Valentine’s Day themes with effective skill in this romp through the sexual adventures of students and professors on campus. Luci Li plays a student who can’t resist giving a handjob in class, while her sexy professor has some saucy ideas of her own (for after class). Plummy British narration makes the whole thing seem like an X-rated version of Love Actually!
Be Our Valentine
“This Valentine’s Day, I’m going to make it extremely special for you . . . you’re in really good hands.” Cherry Morgan sets the tone in scene one as a masseuse who will take the usual rubdown to another level for a Valentine’s Day couple (Vanessa Luna and Danny Mountain). A slight connection of a shared password for a nuru massage establishment binds the scenes together, but overall they focus simply on the theme of sexy Valentine massages. The best is arguably saved for last, with the impish India Summer prodding John Strong along for a “happy ending” massage. “You know what that means,” she purrs mischievously . . . and indeed he does, and so does the audience!
My Sinful Valentine
My Sinful Valentine delves into one of the omnipresent realities of modern relationships: online dating. It’s not just a frothy update on the old You’ve Got Mail and Shop Around the Corner formula, though. Jacky St. James goes to some surprisingly dark places in her screenplay about a frustrated matchmaker who decides deliberately to pair people who are fundamentally ill-suited for each other. (Angela White plays an exec at the matchmaking company, in an inspired bit of casting.) It veers into more traditionally romantic territory at the end, but the subversive tone of much of the rest of the flick plays nicely in contrast to the gooey romance of many Valentine porn vids.
Eternal Valentine
The vignettes contained in Eternal Valentine have one overarching message: when it comes to Valentine’s Day gifts, forget about the chocolates and flowers! The gifts that have some real kick to them are sex toys and lingerie. Each scene in this movie opens with a women receiving some naughty goodies from her significant other, and then we watch as they cap off their Valentine’s Day by putting those gifts to good use. It’s fun to watch, and it may just give you a few ideas for how you can make your next Valentine’s Day even more fun! A cast of British pornstars and polished direction from Anjali Kara add to the effect.
Mommy’s Valentine
When it comes to Valentine’s Day romance, most people don’t think of a date with their stepmother, but that’s exactly where this short feature from MissaX goes. Penny Pax and her stepson Alex Legend are both lacking a partner on Valentine evening. They decide they should go out together instead, which results in a fun night of dancing . . . and sore feet for Penny. That’s just the opening that’s needed for a sexy foot massage that leads inevitably to the bedroom. The scene strikes a surprisingly sweet tone, despite the inherent taboo factor, making it another perfect addition to the Valentine watch list.
Happy Fucking Valentine’s Day
DDF Network is putting the “fucking” in “happy fucking Valentine’s Day”! Four couples exchange gift and pleasantries before getting properly down to business and, well. . . exchanging fluids! The Valentine atmosphere in this one is a little bit more on the “cheesy paper decorations” side, but no matter — the movie delivers where it counts, on the hardcore side of things. There’s a particularly enjoyable foot-and-stocking segment in the movie’s opening sequence!
The Gift of Anal
It may be Valentine’s Day, but you certainly wouldn’t know it if you were judging by Brandy Aniston‘s glum demeanor in scene one of The Gift of Anal. Even breakfast in bed doesn’t do much to melt her icy stares, so partner Jessy Jones decides he’s had enough. He’s moving out, saying this is definitely the last Valentine’s Day he’ll waste on Aniston. What’s a girl to do to get back in the good graces of her man? Sexy red lingerie and anal, that’s what! (Jessy’s flabbergasted reaction when he turns around to see Brandy in lingerie is particularly amusing.)
Her 1st Interracial Vol. 3
Demi Lopez has a big crush on her family-man neighbor, Jack. He was married when he first moved in, but his wife is now out of the picture. As Valentine’s Day nears, Demi decides the time is finally right to make her move on Jack. When he walks into his home to find Demi lounging on the couch in lingerie, complete with a box of chocolates in her hand, he’s powerless to resist. Jack has a certain clueless, fatherly charm that plays in fun contrast to Demi’s open sexuality, making this a sweet and sexy addition to the Valentine’s Day lineup.
Your Horny Valentine
Hope Harper knows how to make it a truly happy Valentine’s Day. You don’t need silly heart decorations or gushy mood music! That’s all just scenery, in the end. The thing that makes Valentine’s Day truly memorable is what happens in the bedroom! She prances into the room to find her lover already in the bed, ready for her special brand of Valentine naughtiness. It’s all shot in the usual Desperate Pleasures POV style so that we can readily imagine that we are stepping into the shoes of the lucky male co-star.
