Safer Sex New Year Resolutions
“New year, new me!” is a common phrase that is thrown around this time of year. I’m not sure about you, but I always like to make a small mental list of what I hope to do better in this coming year. I am embarrassed to say at two weeks in the small goal to waste less has not gone to plan; not once or twice, but has failed at least four times. So, if you too have failed, know you are not alone! The year can only get better from here, right?
If you didn’t read The Holly Jolly Guide to Have a Sex-Filled Holiday Season that we posted in December we mention setting up some sexful resolutions to start the year off right as a couple. However, you don’t have to be in a relationship to set some sexy goal and nothing is sexier than knowing the sex you are about to have is all good-clean-fun!
Goal #1: Minimize the Chances Of Spreading
We know the safest sex is abstinence, but that’s not the perfect society we choose to live. Why not? Because having sex is great, watching people bang is fun, and participating in group sex can really change your life! Yet, there are a few things we can do to make sure we continue having great-clean-fun-sex!
- The next best thing to abstinence in protecting yourself from STDs is using barriers like gloves, condoms & dental dams. This minimizes the skin to skin contact and spreading bodily fluids.
- Wash your toys PROPERLY! Most toys can handle a washcloth with warm soapy water. If you aren’t sure about your toy just look it up!
- Participate in activities where bodily fluids are not shared like massage, cuddling, nipple play, spanking, bondage, dressing up, phone sex, and sexting to name a few.
- Avoid any contact with a person’s open sores. Even better, if you notice a sore that you are unsure of immediately stop and ask your partner.
- If your partner does have an incurable disease like HSV2 (herpes) the end is not lost! Your partner should be informed enough to inform you of their STD, but doing your own research is a great idea!
Goal #2: Get Tested More
Getting tested frequently is a great way to make sure you are not passing along any STIs, or STDs. You should get tested after each new partner or every three months due to some STDs having a dominant period.
Ask your doctor about getting vaccinated for HPV, hepatitis A, and hepatitis B. Even more importantly: if you do TEST POSITIVE for an STD start treatment immediately, refrain from sexual activity and follow all doctor’s orders.
Not sure where to get tested? Check out //gettested.cdc.gov/ to find a free clinic near you!
Goal #3: Talking to a New Partner
Hopefully, you have heard of foreplay, if not read our Guide to Foreplay, but what’s sexy to my ears.. knowing the person I am about to engage in sexual activity with is clean! I always ask my partners these questions:
- Do you have any incurable diseases like hepatitis B, herpes simplex virus (HSV2 or herpes), HIV, and human papillomavirus (HPV)?
- When were you last tested?
- Are you currently having unprotected sex with others?
- What is your STI history?
These next questions aren’t about STDs, but are still good to ask because consent is KEY!
- Would anyone be upset if they knew we were engaging in sexual activity right now?
- What are you and what aren’t you into during sex? Would it be okay if I…?
- You should negotiate sexual activity with your partner(s) to make sure everyone is on the same page.
Quick Fact: Withholding STD status can lead to criminal charges, just saying. Learn more about that here.
Talking to a new person or even just a hook-up about all of this may seem like a lot, but having an open conversation about your sexual health is what we need moving forward to create a healthier sex-positive society. If you aren’t wanting to know the answers to these questions, is it worth ignoring them to put yourself or someone else in danger?
