Presidents and Sex

Editor’s note: In honor of the Fourth of July, we present this archival Adult Empire post, which originally appeared on the Adult Empire Blog in February 2016.

The American presidency is probably the most powerful position in the world. Presidential actions have had some of the most consequential legacies the globe has ever seen, from the rebuilding of Europe after World War II to the aversion of nuclear catastrophe during the Cuban missile crisis. But today, we’re going to have a history lesson that you definitely didn’t get in school! In honor of Independence Day, we take a look at some of the outlandish sexual behavior from the past century’s occupants of the Oval Office. Just because you’re the president doesn’t mean you’re always well behaved when it comes to what occurs between the sheets, after all . . .

Warren G. Harding’s naughty nickname

“Harding” already sounds halfway to a pornstar name, but that didn’t prevent the scandal-ridden president from nicknaming his intimate parts “Jerry,” according to love letters he sent to his mistress. “Wish I could take you to Mount Jerry . . . wonderful spot,” he said in one letter. Did we mention he ran against an opponent named “Cox”? The porn spoof of this seems to write itself. (Source: Newsweek)

John F. Kennedy’s headache remedy

Oh, JFK, you scoundrel, you! Kennedy was famously a fan of James Bond, and there’s little doubt that he was a ladies’ man every bit the equal of his literary hero. Kennedy told British prime minister Harold McMillan that,”If I don’t have a woman for three days, I get a terrible headache.” It would seem Kennedy seldom had a headache, since he reputedly had affairs with secretaries, stars and, socialites alike. For all that, JFK was supposedly an ungenerous lover, who favored positions that let him do the least amount of work. According to the New York Post, Kennedy quickly fell asleep after an Oval Office assignation with star Marlene Dietrich, who then had to shake the president awake because she wasn’t sure how to get out of the White House. Ask not what Kennedy can do for you . . . (Sources: Daily Mail, New York Post, National Geographic, Bobbie and Jackie: A Love Story, Entertainment Weekly)

Lyndon Baines Johnson wasn’t shy

Johnson’s campaign slogan “All the way with LBJ” seems to have a slightly dirty double edge once you realize that his sexual appetites were almost as intense as his predecessor, Kennedy. In fact, Johnson once boasted that he’d had more women accidentally than Kennedy had had on purpose. Among Johnson’s unusual actions while president: he had a special attachment added to the White House shower that would spray directly on his manhood, and he rebuked a reporter’s question about Vietnam by pulling out his, um, “Johnson.” Hey, hey LBJ, indeed! (Sources: Gawker, Cracked.com, The Atlantic)

Richard Nixon’s odd fixation

Richard Nixon’s White House tapes are most famous for exposing Watergate, but they also recorded his odd fixation with panda sex. We’d elaborate, but we’d also like to keep down our lunch. Read more about it here, if you dare! He was also prone to making awkward passes at secretaries, according to Bob Woodward’s book The Last of the President’s Men. (Source: Newsweek)

Jimmy Carter’s scandalous admission

Jimmy Carter has always been known as a wholesome man, but even he couldn’t escape a quasi sex scandal when he was running for president. The one-time peanut farmer told Playboy that he’d committed adultery many times “in his heart,” an admission that supposedly drove down his poll numbers and dogged the president for years. (Sources: Willrabbe.com, Monkey Cage)

Bill Clinton’s wild trips

Another president certainly never committed adultery in his heart . . . he didn’t have to! Bill Clinton’s most notorious sexual peccadilloes are well known and were subject to scandal and impeachment trials. But the story certain didn’t end (or start) with Monica. For instance, a post-presidency Bill Clinton spent so much time on a notorious bachelor’s private plane that the aircraft began to be referred to as Air Fuck One. Is that the wildest presidential sex story of all? Quite possibly, but we suppose that depends on what your definition of the word “is” is. (Source: Game Change)

Barack Obama’s “sexual warmth”

Unlike his Democratic predecessor, the previous occupant of the Oval Office was not dogged any by sex scandals. The closest the world has come to knowing what happens behind his bedroom door came from some hints dropped in the diary of one of Obama’s former girlfriends, who said he possessed “sexual warmth.” Not much of one to dish on the dirty deets, is she? (Source: Washington Post)

Donald Trump’s “sex” tape

In October 2016, a “hot microphone” tape of outtakes from Donald Trump’s appearance on Access Hollywood revealed Trump saying that he felt free to grab women “by the pussy.” This did not impact Trump’s electoral chances any more than Bill Clinton’s sexual peccadilloes did, and the real estate mogul went on to victory over rival Hillary Clinton.