Ask Adult Empire: What’s It Like to Date a Pornstar?
Want answers about porn, the adult industry, or your favorite adult stars? We respond to your burning questions in “Ask Adult Empire“! Submit your questions by using the hashtag #AskAdultEmpire on Twitter! (Some questions are edited for clarity and length.)
Q: Is dating a pornstar more or less complicated dating than someone who is not in the business? How different is the relationship?
(from everyleek)
A. Whether you’re a pornstar or not, relationships are complex and demanding, but success ultimately comes down to communication, according to the stars we’ve spoken to. Eva Lovia married a man outside the adult industry, and their relationship has thrived for nearly a decade “I think a lot of porn couples, whether one [of them is in porn] or not – it’s a matter of making sure you’re all on the same page when comes down to the foundation,” Lovia told Adult Empire in a recent interview. “For us, it comes down to [the same] as it does for any other couple: Do your goals line up? Do your philosophies line up? Does your moral code line up? All of these super critical things that build your foundation as a relationship. You should know all your partner’s answers to those kind of things before you get into a committed relationship, so if you match up, there shouldn’t be any issues. Me and my husband – we’re very open, not jealous, very forgiving, just want the other person to constantly be their happiest and be their best. For us, it’s never been an issue. He just wants me to be happy. As long as I’m happy and safe, he has no issues with anything.” (For more insight into what it’s like to date a pornstar, check out this archival post featuring a video about Allie Haze‘s off-screen romance with a so-called “regular Joe.”)
Q: I’ve always wondered if porn shoots are shot like movies/TV shows? Or is it just people having sex on camera. I feel like sometimes some of the scripted porn I watch loses its mystique when it’s very apparent that there’s too much acting going on.
(from JeezusNW)
A: Sex or story? It’s a question that fictional porn director Jack Horner mulled in a memorable, vulgar monologue in Boogie Nights: “I understand you’ve got to get them in the theater. You got to keep the seats full . . . but I don’t want to make a film. where they show up, sit down, jack off . . . and get up and get out before the story ends. It is my dream, it is my goal . . . it is my idea to make a film that the story sucks them in . . . and when they spurt out that joy juice . . .they just got to sit in it. They can’t move until they find out how the story ends. I want to make a film like that.”
Porn and mainstream projects traditionally have had differing goals (titillation versus storytelling), but just as mainstream television has experienced a renaissance of long-form narrative in recent years, so too has the adult business been expanding the definition of what constitutes a porn movie. Girlsway, MissaX, and many more develop scenarios and scripts that demand a level of acting and dialogue that you won’t find in the knowingly corny scenes of stereotypical porn. To our eyes, that enhances rather than detracts from porn’s mystique, but such questions tend to come down to individual taste. That said, porn budgets never rival those of mainstream projects, so adult movies are usually shot in a streamlined, economical style, with far less time for the sort of arduous retakes and reshoots that are typical of great film and TV auteurs.
Popular director Mike Quasar described his working methods in a recent Adult Empire interview: “You have to do most of the work yourself. In many cases I am the camera man, still photographer, lighting person, and editor. With Wicked I have a small crew and we work efficiently to cover as much ground as possible. Also, for me, the writing is the most important part. If there’s a good story, you don’t have to spend a million dollars. Without a good story, you just have drone shots and mansion exteriors for no reason.”
In the end, porn movies are rarely simply just “people having sex on camera,” of course. The artificiality of the light, sets, and scenario make even an unadorned gonzo scene artificial in some basic sense, but the best porn directors are able to capture authentic chemistry just as surely as a Hollywood director is able to dramatize a weighty idea in a mainstream movie. (Watch for an upcoming Adult Empire YouTube podcast interview with a popular porn director for more insight on this subject.) Pornstars are much better actors than the general public gives them credit for, thanks to their ability to create convincing sexual encounters in a studio setting that very few people would consider ideal for sex.
