Watching Porn Could Help Your Dating Life
In the outrageous 1997 comedy There’s Something About Mary, Chris Elliott gives Ben Stiller some unusual, awkward advice before a big date. He suggests that Stiller retire to the bathroom and quickly masturbate so that his mind will be clear and his mood relaxed. Stiller just does that, leading to the movie’s most infamous scene (hint: it involves hair gel). New research suggests Elliott’s advice may not have been so goofy after all: a study from Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin says watching porn before a date might improve your chances of success.
The idea is that if you see sexual stimuli, your mind will subconsciously “prime” you to be more open to disclosing personal or intimate information. “[This] makes the other person like you more, thereby motivating him or her to reciprocate. Consequently, you get the impression that this person likes you, and you react by liking him or her more — we tend to like people who like us — and behave accordingly, for example by being nicer, flirting or complimenting. Overall, sex starts a positive cycle of getting closer to a stranger that may eventually build emotional connection between previously unacquainted people,” researchers told the U.K. Times.
Nevertheless, this process should be a slow one, so wheeling out that four-hour Evil Angel porn DVD before your big Saturday rendez-vous might not be the best idea. “Self-disclosure should be reciprocal and gradual,” researcher Gurit E. Birnbaum told Bustle. “Otherwise, it may backfire. For one, exposing too much, too soon may deter the other person (‘stranger-on-a-train’ phenomenon). In addition, if the other person does not reciprocate and self-disclose to you, it may indicate that this person is less interested in getting closer to you. Hence, people should pay attention to cues of their partner’s responsiveness, which are crucial to developing an authentic sense of intimacy.”
It’s also worth noting that the journal itself does not make mention of porn at all — rather it says that participants in the study were presented with “sexual stimuli,” which does not necessarily equate to a stack of your favorite porn DVDs. A little “sexual priming,” as the study terms it, can’t hurt, though!
Featured image: Nathan Walker/Unsplash
