Lisa Ann: Porn’s MacGyver?
Any American born in the ’70s or ’80s probably remembers the classic series MacGyver. Played by Richard Dean Anderson, the title character always found himself in the toughest of escape-proof situations by each episode’s final act. Through ingenuity and scientific know-how, he fought his way out with elaborate Mousetrap-style solutions before the show’s catchy ending theme music sounded. The program got a porn spoof courtesy Dreamzone Entertainment in 2012, but if a recent interview conducted by Holly Randall is any indication, Lisa Ann may have been porn’s real-life MacGyver.
In a podcast chat on Randall’s new interview show Unfiltered, Ann delved into her penchant for problem-solving. “You’ve got to be a ‘survival of the fittest’! I grew up watching MacGyver. Anything that happens to me, I can solve. I can task this. I can figure this out, ” Ann said. “I grew up in a family where both of my parents cried over spilled milk. They flipped out over little things. I just remember so many times growing up thinking, ‘When I grow up and I’m on my own, I am not going to freak out when shit has already happened. Now when something happens, it’s like, ‘Oh, well, that wasn’t supposed to happen that way. Now it’s time to figure out what’s a solution to try and get it done, how are we going to walk through fire and get to the other side and be over it.”
The example Ann gave involved a quite-literal brush with fire. “Right before a trade show, I was in my apartment in New York and I was trying to sear a piece of fish in way that I’d never done with flame before,” she said. “I was watching a YouTube video on my iPad, and somehow the grease splashed up and burned me.” To make matters worse, the burn was on her chest. “A human being getting burned is bad, but when you’re a nude model, when everyone wants to look at your cleavage, and this is your focal area, this is real bad.”
“So the next day I remember walking to Aldo and all these different shops in New York and showing the girls my situation and buying accessories that I then put bandages on and taped to my skin for the next two months’ trade shows. And you’ll notice there was a period in 2013 to ’14 where I’m wearing an ungodly huge necklace.” (Poke around in the screenshots and glam pics from Lisa Ann’s output from that period and you’ll find she wasn’t lying! The featured image for this post is drawn from 2014’s MILFs Illustrated 2, where you’ll see nary a frame where Ann is not clad in a big necklace.)
“I remember [ . . . ] rolling up Band-Aids into donuts, knowing I could get them on there and get the necklace to sit perfectly, so even when I move for a photo, no one was going to see the third-degree burn under there,” Ann continued. “Luckily it was a time when big necklaces were actually in style and it wasn’t hard to find them.”
“And this is quintessential Lisa Ann -– the fact that you can problem-solve and find a solution to this big burn on your chest with strategically placed necklaces,” said interviewer Randall.
If they ever mount a sequel to MacGyver’s porn spoof, we hope Lisa Ann comes out of retirement for the lead role, or perhaps at least a cameo. Oh, and yes, now we’re going to have the MacGyver theme playing in our heads the rest of the day . . .
Listen to the full Randall/Lisa Ann interview here.
Browse Lisa Ann porn videos here.