Enough with the extreme manscaping
by Coleen Singer at Sssh.com Porn For Women
Not quite sure when this trend started, but I’m just about over with men who extreme manscape, down there. Yes, I’m talking about Mr. Clean Shaven and his friend Bare Balls. I mean, I’m all about the grooming. I mean who wants to go down on a bush so big and unkempt that you’re not sure if that funky smell you’re inhaling is leftover pee or something coming out of a cheesy mess on his junk. Yeah, sorry about that mental image.
I suppose this is a touchy subject for me because my man insists on keeping his junk squeaky clean and it creeps me out. I appreciate any man who takes the trouble to clean up his shrubs, but when you’re shaving every last bit of hair off, and yet, the rest of you is covered in hair, it’s kinda weird. I know, I know, I can’t be sitting on my high and mighty chair looking down on men who want a clean junk when women sweat through a brazilian wax every few weeks.
But it’s different for women. Right? I mean, we’re constantly showed pictures of women with vaginas so smooth and neat it looks like someone shoved the bottom part of a Barbie down there. We’re made to feel if we didn’t have a hairless cunt, we’re less of a woman. No one ever displays photos of men with a smoothly shaved junk. Or do they? Truth be told, it’s not like I ever look at men when women are so much more fun. So yeah, maybe men too are feeling the burn when they think about their junk.
Maybe one too many women had risen after a BJ only to unsexily pull out pubic hair stuck between her teeth. Maybe men go in for a kiss only to have their own pubic hair passed back into their mouth. Maybe it was all these women drooling over hot gay men and their neat, hairless bodies. Maybe someone, somewhere said it’ll make your dick look bigger. Whatever it was, at some point men started shaving their bits and now it’s an epidemic. Hairless dicks just slapping you in the face every time you go down to give a blowjob!
I’ve heard about men who tell me that they don’t like women who are completely shaved down there. And then there are men who tell me that they don’t ‘accept’ women unless they’re completely clean (usually, but not always, these are also the same men who only date much younger women and use them as trophy girls). Most of the time men tell me that they just want a woman who makes an effort to keep things neat down there, and that sure fully clean is nice because they have to get their mouth right on our clit so being hairless means they don’t have to eat hair, but being neat is good too.
So I guess my point is, that just because I’m not a fan of it, doesn’t mean that there aren’t women out there who are totally into it. But that’s the thing, I have yet to meet a single girlfriend (yeah, really scientific I know) who is into this whole hairless business. So much so that even Buzzfeed wrote about the wonders of man hair down there. They even ‘wrote’ about the horrors of men shaving their chest hair – another thing I’m totally against. I mean, come on guys, we see the regrowth and it ain’t pretty.
So yeah, when it comes to men and their dicks, I advocate the middle path. Not unkempt and yet, not creepily clean like some weird baby child. I rue the day when this trend becomes mainstream and we’re bombarded with shaved dicks everywhere. Till then, I am a one woman army on a mission to keep the shaver as far away from a penis as I can!
Coleen Singer is a writer, photographer, film editor and all-around geeky gal at Sssh.com, where she often waxes eloquent about sex, porn, sex toys, censorship, the literary and pandering evils of Fifty Shades of Grey and other topics not likely to be found on the Pulitzer Prize shortlist. She is also the editor and curator of EroticScribes.com. When she is not doing all of the above, Singer is an amateur stock-car racer and enjoys modifying vintage 1970s cars for the racetrack. Oh, she also likes porn.