Really? We’re STILL Surprised Porn Isn’t Something New?

The following blog post was composed by Coleen Singer at Sssh.com Porn For Women

Pretty much from the moment I first saw sexually-explicit depictions of ancient Greeks boning and sucking each other off on a kylix made in the 6th Century BCE, I got the picture: Porn has been around a long, long time.

Simultaneously with that realization, I had a companion epiphany: If modern archaeologists found stuff like this in pretty good numbers (which they did), it’s a pretty safe bet a hell of a lot of them were made in the first place. If you think about it, this commonality also suggests erotic depictions were pretty popular back in the day – and this is true almost no matter when “back in the day” refers to.

To me, it stands to reason that if the Greek and Roman powers that were didn’t approve of sexual depictions, I doubt they would have been shy about repressing the living shit out of the people who made them until they stopped making them. After all, back then it didn’t take a whole lot of provocation for the Romans to swing by and annihilate your livestock, destroy your temples and leave behind a puppet regime to keep an eye on your unruly asses for a century or two.

Anyway, since we already know erotic depictions have been around forever, why should it surprise us to also learn they’ve been well-liked and oft-consumed forever, as well?

I’m a Pervert; I Should Be Shocked My Grandpa Was, Too?

Reading Claire Fallon’s HuffPo piece, “A Brief History Of America’s Surprisingly Long Love Affair With Porn,” I just kept thinking to myself, why is this “surprising?”

It’s no secret porn is old as the hills – hell, there are even hills in which you’ll find ancient caves wherein long-deceased Paleolithic pornographers scrawled massive dick pics on the walls. Why? Because they could, most likely – the same reason a couple of early-adopters of motion picture technology named Eugene Pirou and Albert Kirchner made their first erotic movie approximately nine minutes after acquiring the necessary production equipment.

“People tend to think that hardcore pornography is largely a modern invention,” Mark Snyder, the director of exhibitions at Museum of Sex in New York observes in the HuffPo piece. “However, when looking at literary and visual representations of sex acts from previous centuries, we see that, sexually speaking, there is very little territory that has not already been explored.”

If you look into the history of erotica, you’ll quickly find Mr. Snyder ain’t just whistling Dixie.

You’ll find graphic depictions of double-penetration on Japanese woodblocks, orgies aplenty rendered in ink, paint and stone, and, lest we forget, the Kama Sutra (written in the 3rd Century, folks), which to this day serves as a valuable go-to reference for people looking for new positions with which to spice up their sex life – resulting in the occasionally uncomfortable emergency room discussion when it turns out your middle-aged husband’s flexibility just ain’t what it used to be.

On A Related Note, Fucking Is How We Exist In The First Place

Another bit of obviousness which crept into my little brain as a youngster was that since sexual reproduction is how people come into being, and once upon a time there were a lot fewer of us than there are now, it stands to reason that a lot of people who came around before my time were fucking like feverishly horny rabbits in order to help bring the world to its current population.

Sure, these days people who are really determined to do so can probably grow a kid in a petri dish using a combination of their own DNA and common household cleaning products, but back when Adam begat Seth (and So And So begat Whosit, and so on and so forth), you were pretty much stuck with doing it the old-fashioned way.

In addition to always having been horny little fuckers, my assumption is a certain percentage of people (and likely a fairly high one) have always been voyeuristic little fuckers, as well. It might be comforting to some people on a personal level to imagine their grandfathers and grandmothers never once thought about sex, and just sort of accidentally fell into a carnal embrace one night during a particularly vivid pair of simultaneous nightmares in which they used their hips to fend off the Devil, but as a practical matter, this seems unlikely to succeed once, much less enough times to account for the existence of your mother and her four other siblings.

At the end of the day, we’re just not that different from the humans who came before us. Yes, we know a lot more about science (well, not ALL of us, obviously) and we definitely have many more choices in footwear, but when it comes to sex and sexual depictions, we’re just as fascinated, flustered and freaked out as ever.

So, for any future archaeologist who might discover a paper printout of this post several centuries from now in the ruins of what was once my home, please note this for the record: Your great-great-grandfather was totally into sissy training videos.

Coleen Singer is a writer, photographer, film editor and all-around geeky gal at Sssh.com, where she often waxes eloquent about sex, porn, sex toys, censorship, the literary and pandering evils of Fifty Shades of Grey and other topics not likely to be found on the Pulitzer Prize shortlist. She is also the editor and curator of EroticScribes.com. When she is not doing all of the above, Singer is an amateur stock-car racer and enjoys modifying vintage 1970s cars for the racetrack. Oh, she also likes porn.

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