Mele Kalikimaka!

Editor’s Note: The following blog entry was composed by porn superstar Chanel Preston.

Everyone asks me if it’s weird to spend the holidays in Hawaii since there is no snow and the answer is yes. It has taken me five years to feel like its christmas even a little bit here. The problem is I was born and raised in Alaska and a good part of my life I spent in a town called Northpole, Alaska. I am serious too. Google it. The street are randomly decorated with the christmas theme all year round and Kanakaloka (Santa Claus) lives there! The Santa Claus house is there and people travel from all over to go there. When a kid mails a letter to The Northpole it actually goes there and guess who gets to answer them? Me, in highschool. I remember in english class having to answer kids letter to Santa Claus and I always thought that was the worst idea ever. Imagine an immature highschool kid just wanting to get out of class.

Dear Santa,
I wrote you last year and asked for a Suzy Paloozy Toy Vacuum and all I got was a sweater. Please, please, please send me a Suzy Paloozy Toy Vacuum this year so I can help my mommy clean the house.

Yours Truly,
Sandy Loo

Dear Sandy Loo,
Maybe you weren’t such a good girl last year. I think I remember seeing you pick your nose during church. Isn’t that a sin? I will check this year to see if you are on my naughty list but all Santa wants to do right now is smoke a fat bowl so you’ll just have to be good from now on and hope for the best. Peace!

Yours Truly,
S-claus

I think they checked the letters after we wrote them but it’s still a funny thought. I also don’t want to tell people that Northpole is actually one of the biggest meth towns in Alaska and it’s totally depressing, but we all have to press the “I’m Over 18” button to read this so I think we can handle this disallussionment.

Overall, I hope everyone has happy holidays. I’m very excited to be spending my first christmas with all my fans especially since they keep sending me cool christmas cards and gifts. They know how to make a girl fall in love. But seriously this has been a great holiday for me and also very exciting as its the end of this year and I’m onto a new one which will be better and more amazing than this one. Mele Kalikimaka me ka Hau’oli Makahiki Hou! (Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!)

-XO Chanel